I think i want to runaway. I figure there is no reason for me to stay where I am and that may be the best reason to go. My family stress me out by telling me how much I need to x, y and z. Graduate college. Do better then when they were in school. When the truth is, I feel like I'm only here to make them happy. My boyfriend, who will graduate in the spring doesn't realize that when he talks about leaving he doesn't hurt me when he says it. He brushes it off and looks at what he's saying is truth, that I shouldn't become attached to him the way that I am. He doesn't want me to "need" him. What he doesn't understand is that he makes me feel like a better person when I'm with him...I feel happy and...myself when I'm around him. I don't have to hide who I am.
I feel like I'm breaking...just shattered
I don't know what I'm suppose to do anymore. I'm just tired not not having time for anything and even when I do I bring work with me ....I'm just so tired of it all... when I voiced this to my boyfriend I got this
"But you do know what to do! finish it up, get er over with. Its the only thing to do."
All school has done for me is make me sick. Before coming to college I never had anxiety disorder, I never had problems with food and I never use to cry as much as I now. I hate it, I feel broken on so many levels and I hate it! The only response I get at my house is that I am looking for attention or being over dramatic.
I'm sorry for this explosion of emotion, I just don't know what else to do though...